Far-Fetched Credibility

I have this theory in my head, that all my blog posts begin from a place in which I question 'what the hell am I doing here. I am listening to this amazing lecturer talking to us about being in positions of power and powerlessness within the dilemmas of collective action, Elinor Ostrom's points. My professor herself is someone whose presence I have respected since the beginning. I somehow feel inspired and grateful to be listening when she speaks. She comes from an Indian background and quickly seems incredibly wise... and yet, here I am, writing this. Whether it is this class, my head, or the blogosphere... I find myself somewhere in-between places. Looking at the snow falling and going down the river in the window behind me; sneaking chocolate from my backpack - classical me.

Have you ever questioned your heart to the point where you know you'll only know the answers by living accordingly?

They say the Universe will hand you the exact same lesson over and over again until you master it. I believe that by examining closely enough, it is possible to identify patterns assembled by similar actions and reactions in relatively comparable situations, and which produce equivalent outcomes. From my perspective, at some point (somehow), this ongoing sequence of moves enables you to recognise it, even if it takes years. You realise your parallel inclinations in separate moments, and you might wanna change them. Let's call these moments "culminating points". Points in which you become aware of phased rituals you no longer wish to continue and are now ready to learn past them. Note that I said learn past them because I feel like every time this has happened to me, there has always been a lesson to embrace (until I master it?).

I cannot explain how I know this, but I have seen it various times across different domains of my life and find myself in one of those culminating points right now. Yet, can't quite figure out the lesson. As you go, this pattern identification becomes more complex - you might even notice intercorrelated patterns or the situation has completely flipped this time around. It hinders your search for an answer even if you would not ever find one. Meaning it doesn't matter how aware you are, or how familiar you become with the situation, you cannot foresee what is gonna happen. The answer to the answer, however, is quite apparent. You must go through it to figure it out. This 'element of trust' triggers me - are we following our intuition or running away from something we are afraid to face? I am not sure; but in my opinion, the right choice for me will always be the one that little by little brings me closer to myself, even if I can't see why or how yet.

At this time in my life, I was having some trouble trusting the process. It is not easy to accept that your path is not the one your intellect envisions, but the one your heart craves. Hence we shall remember, that just because a decision does not make you immediately happy, it doesn't mean it is the wrong one (for you). We already know the answers, sometimes we are just not listening.

By the way, two things. I am falling more and more in love with Sweden as time goes by aaaand a friend and I are launching our first podcast this Friday at 8:00 am!!

Stay tuned for: Something Like This... 🧚🏼‍♀️

x.