A Mess of Gorgeous Chaos

Ok blog here we go again.

Uni life has restarted - or barely, since I'm only half way through quarantine - and I am currently living in a centenary place called Wantage. It is indeed, gorgeous. I am getting used to my amazingly cozy and big room. It has an enormous window, which is six times bigger that my previous one; and a sealed fireplace, which gives the room a very nice touch!

I'm enchanted.

That's it about the room. Let's move forward to my un-existential love life.

I really am a mess of gorgeous chaos on that matter. So, to sum up: I need some time to myself but I also want to find someone to wake up with; to look me in the eyes and know how I feel; to send me flowers when I am not there; to wake me up in the middle of the night to hear my voice; to chase me for a last kiss; to make me laugh until my stomach hurts. Guys, I think I want a boyfriend.

(Disclaimer: it doesn't mean I'm going to look out for him in every corner of the room; or in every face in the crowd. I won't). I've never been looking, but I've also never really wanted it.

This summer was boy crazy. I've found myself getting more excited about the things I was doing with the guys I've been with, than the actual guys themselves. In the end, I was never really keen on hanging out with any of them, unless we were going to do something fun or remarkable. That's when I realised, deep inside I just wanted one person, one single partner to share everything with. A person that was completely the other way around: no matter what we were doing, as long as we were together. I've had that once. He used to recognise every blink of my eyes, but that's history. In fact, it is funny to think we've ever made sense some time.

In addition, I aim to keep updating you guys about my life situation.

x.